For most of my life, I didn’t think that I could think! I thought I had to fit myself into the systems that other people had written in books, because they were smarter than I am. It’s true, I am not intellectually smart. I can’t hold onto ideas in a rigorous way. But thanks to my dear Gene Gendlin, I know how to go into my own knowing, which is at another level than intellectual smarts. In fact a lot of intellectually smart friends of mine become imprisoned in their intellect, in a maelstrom of air-tight arguments that leave no space for who they are, for their own wantings, for the longings of the soul. So the smartness becomes a source of suffering and self rejection. I want to extend my hand and say, “We are so much more than that!”
Right now I am dealing with at least three forms of software that I hoped would make my work more effective. But that’s not what is happening. So I am going to let go of at least one of the programs, and spend some time today going back to my goals. That brings me to something Gendlin has helped me to grasp. My goals evolve with my interactions. Since I started learning the software, I have had some real life experiences that show me what I love, what fulfills me, what I want more of. So on this snowy day, I will stop and let my ideas catch up to my lived experience.