“What if”?: Modeling a different reality

Many ideas have been coming up since I started my TAE project yesterday. They have to do with interacting with groups. How to interrupt a group process to make space for more listening, reflection, without imposing.

In Dynamic Facilitation, which I have participated in with Rosa Zubizarreta, things are set up from the beginning so that the facilitator can reflect what is being said by writing it down on sheets labeled “Statements of the Problem”, “Possible Solutions”, “Data” and “Concerns”. Attention is on each speaker long enough for their contributions to be written down, and, I believe, for what comes next to be written down, because when someone is listened to, what comes next is often a further development of the initial idea. So it helps to have things set up in advance.

I am wondering how this could be extended in a friendly, playful, welcoming way, even when things are not set up in advance. That feels like the growing edge for me.

Can playfulness change my dynamic? It goes from “you gotta” to “what if”? Both come from my having an idea about how to do things better, but one is open-ended, no pressure, no imposition, re-grouping to look for the next opportunity to share something inevitable. I feel that in my chest as true self-confidence. My grandmother was actually a very funny, entertaining person.

Crux sentence: moving from “You gotta” to “What if”, I step into self confidence.

Keyword: “What if”.

Step 2: Looking for paradox or contradiction: When I think of “you gotta”, I get a subtle band of energy at the back of my head, like I’m putting on blinders. When I think of “What if”, there is a new feeling of spaciousness in my heart, but no guarantees. So sharing what I know is not done out of the old fear the no one will understand. It means suggesting or creating or modeling a different reality in which the hoped-for result is presented first, and then the floor can be opened to ideas of how to get there.

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